some real bad nightmares, cant help!!!

I generally have a lot of dreams while sleeping, at times i dream while my eyes are wide open.
I dont know whether they call it day dreaming or not , but i certainly had a dream with my eyes wide open.
I found myself standing in the middle of a X-ing . I was surrounded by all those whom i know very well. My mom, my brother and all those whom i, had ever hurt somehow or the other i n my life.
This included nearly all my close friends, family, relatives. I could find some unknown faces too, a girl , a beggar whom i said NO, last week. All of them were standing there surrounding me as if i m going to address them or standing in front of gallows.
I heard a gun fire and suddenly all of them grab hold of bricks, pebbles, stones whatever was there lying down on the street. They started hitting me with all those, initially one by one and then like wild hunters.
i realized one thing though. The size of weapon they were using was proportional to the amount of heart aches i had given them. They kept on hitting me and i was standing there bleeding like a bastard. At one spot finally i couldnt withstand this stoney shower anymore and finally fell down with a loud thud, every body stopped.
Within a wink of the eye, i found every body running towards me. My mom was howling when she was keeping my head on her lap. I found others too crying like hell.
I finally shook my head hard, i came back to this real world. Everything was fine and calm. I was sitting in the middle of a training session.
Though i chuckled at one thought, that while they were throwing stones, why it didnt pass me and hit others too who were standing there.
Why i had that day dream i dont know....
i guess that i have hurt others a lot and its about time that i mend my ways.
Though something else also comes to my head. Probably my end would be euthansia.......

Murga Vs Insaan !! nahi nahi its even worse, just go through

After every right there has to be something wrong. Heartbreaks should alwaz be there in one's life.
It's necessary, would be like living life ideally. We gotta leave our loved ones, or close ones one day, even if we dont leave them, they might leave us.( "leave" here is used in vast number of cases)
So my point is that we should rather enjoy the heartbreaks and liveraches the same way, we enjoy hapiness of our life. If not the same way atleast to some extent.
We see this day and night cycle since the day we were born. Imagine sun being there over our head 365 days, 24*7. It would only add to more of sun burns, indeed enhance global warming -exponentially, technically speaking. Similarly happiness throughout our life would definitely be a disaster for us.
If you are gloomy, and you are stuck in a horrible situation of your life, trust me there is definitely some one else in this planet who might be having a good time. This would balance happiness and sorrows throughout the planet. But i would add 1 condition to it, you do not express your sorrows to others, especially to your loved ones, coz then the balance would be disturbed and you would include a long list of mournful janta along with you.
This might sound crappy to you but i being an ardent vegetarian would try my level best to prove this right. Just go and check out a lamb who is just about to get slaughtered , and then just look at the cuisine you ordered, the lambs mournful face and ur watery mouth would say it all what i wanted to express. Another scenario-- you didnt get a chance to have a chicken since last 1 month, may be coz of ne damn reason. This very thought makes u feel pathetic about your life, but at the other end that chicken is definitely been spared by you no matter you give an excuse that somebody else might have engulfed it. (apologies to all those murgebaaz bhai log)
So the bottom line is- take the sorrows of your life as sportingly as you take happiness.
We all have to leave this mortal world some day. Better not to cry for your place in heaven in staying back alive on earth, but live for the moment.
(i strongly beleive in whatever i say, though beleiving all this might be pretty hard for some of my friends)

staying near me is definitely not a good option, so stay away!!!!

The angels and GODS
their favourite past time is to prick my ass with needles, and the one whose prick rate is highest in a
minute wins the game.
i m the most ugliest entities of homo sapien, a chick would go back home again, puke and take a shower if she will see me early in the morning.
i m full of immensely negative thoughts, i see myself dying like a street dog everyday when i see a mirror
i have no strength of mind and soul, i suck, i m weak , i m feeble, i fear relations, i feel insecure, i am sick,
my dirty soul is never at peace, it alwaz has some crap goin around.
i m worse at socialising coz my fuckin mouth never stops with the filthy ideas cumin in my head.
i can ruin ur day, if given a chance i can ruin ur life even, an all time jerk .. yeah thats me.
i m worst when i m playin counter strike coz i even dont know exactly how it should be played and boast of it every now and then.
i preach shit around whenever i get an opportunity.
i want to deaf my ears by listening to death metal at 20000Db, but unfortunately i never got a chance to do so.
i would donate my eyes to a dying blind man would becum a local hero and would take them away again
after his death, this is what i expect from myself.
i luv being alone,i feel like livin alone in some other uninhabited planet, even an island would do.
i pretend to be gud to u but actually i m plotting somethin fishy against u with my evil cerebrum.
i luv eating stale stuff coz i feel like a rodent searching for something smelly and crappy left out only for
him.
i hate those who try to be gud to me.
i hate doing anything which i m requested to do, i luv being a slave to humans, i luv being ordered, and
commanded.
a complete ass hole, i pretend to be smart enough but all know that how much masked i m.
i luv people who use me and make a fool out of mine, i m alwaz mocked upon by friends.
people around me hate me like hell, but they just dont say it, dont know why---i tell u why--coz my bloody mouth wont stop barking at them.
some call me a dark spot on human race, some the dirty fish of a clean pond, some coward and the rest
think that i m mad.
and the fact of the matter is that i suffice all the necessary and sufficient conditions to be called that.
i m not fit to becum a human and i seriously dont want to live life in this wonderful planet full of goodies made by nature,--the best amongst those r humans!!!!

prayer

This is the age of paranoia!
i might also turn out to be a paranoid some day.
Save me O'migthy LORD from being neurotic
or the 666 messiah would overpower me